A couple of years ago, my partner and I, fell pregnant. We were adamant the baby was going to be a girl, we didn’t know why, but we just knew it was going to be a girl. Amy had just been to Amsterdam for the first time, and that city is one of my favorites, so we decided on the name Holland for our little girl (even though it was way too early to even begin to know the gender).
Sadly, the pregnancy wasn’t meant to be, and we lost the baby through a miscarriage. We were devastated.
Since then, I’ve wanted to write a song for Holland, but didn’t know where to start and how to process such an emotional and heartbreaking time through song. For such an unfortunately common occurrence, it's rare for people to talk about their experience much, and even more so from the partners perspective.
Late last year, Amy and I fell pregnant again. Thankfully, our little baby-boy-to-be (yes, we’ve confirmed it’s a boy!) is growing like crazy and will be joining us this Summer in the US. We are over the moon.
Knowing that I was going to become a Dad this year, was the catalyst for me writing this song. The lyrics are essentially me having a conversation with Holland through various stages of her life, and the chorus is me giving her some of my own worldly advice before I depart, then ultimately realizing that she will only ever be a memory.
Yes, the song is a sad one, but for me, and I hope for you too, the music is now lined with an element of joy, and I know that the memory of Holland can now be shared with my son when he is old enough to understand.
Thanks for listening, and taking a few minutes to read the story of the song.